“Who is the mayor of LarryLand?”

DOB: 4/23/59
Mother’s maiden name: Rabinowitz
SS#: 553-27-5686.
Debit card: 5366 0344 0349 7523 (PIN: 3372)
Bank routing number: 359375015
Bank account number: 3441
Blood type: A-
Every single password: WhackJob95

Have at it folks. You’re welcome.

Uh … okay ...
Let’s try this again.

“Who is the mayor of LarryLand?”

Good question. And thanks for asking.

I’m no psychologist, but I’m beginning to think I’ve been flirting with multiple personality disorder.

Why? Well, whenever I open my laptop, I don’t know what wordsmithing personality I’m going to take on. Will I be:

• The irreverent prankster who pulls silly stunts, just to see how people react?
• The curious adventurer who once purchased a beer while in the fast lane of a freeway?
• The “accidental creative” who invented a new art form … while lying on his back?
• The armchair philosopher pointing out the dark absurdities of life?
• The Baby Boomer finally rewriting his life from a more compassionate perspective?

Let me give you a definitive answer: I have no flippin’ idea.

At this juncture in my writing life, I’m all over the place. My essays are a creative goulash of colors, sounds, memories and textures. And – here’s the kicker – this chef never knows what the hell his dish du jour is gonna taste like, even after he hits “Publish.”

I hope that, in joining me on these reflective, snarky, silly, gut-wrenching, irreverent mini-adventures, you’ll at least find some measure of clarity in your own life.

And when you do, please circle back and tell me how you managed to accomplish that. I’ll be right here, staring at my laptop, breathing, thinking, smiling, waiting ...

So join me, boys ‘n girls. This could get really weird be really fun.

Peace, out.