Oh, Larry. I’m so glad you gave this beautiful piece the space it deserved.
I love the way you turn the idea on its head. Not only is beauty transient, but so is pain. The older I get, the more I find myself drawn to the wisdom in that, and in Buddhism in general. Life is so fleeting, and it is so easy to miss it if we aren’t present to the moment-by-moment experience of it.
This is such a moving piece, and I really admire both the wisdom and vulnerability it took to share it. Major kudos.
So very helpful Larry. Ironically, your willingness to write down this story and share it is now a permanent source of help that is going to be exactly what some people need to hear in just the right moment.
I appreciate that, Rick. Funny you should mention writing as a source of helping others. Just today I sent my doctor an earlier essay I wrote about depression, and she'll likely pass it on to other patients and maybe professional colleagues.
Thank you. Yes, the Himalayas are amazing. The highest peaks in Colorado and California are only *half* as high as those magnificent monsters in Tibet and Nepal. For years, I read books about expeditions to that region, so one day I went there ... and again ... and again. Yet, at the end of the day, even those peaks are impermanent.
No, if you ascend correctly (there's a ton of stuff to know), oxygen isn't needed. Climbers (we were only trekkers) don't really start on oxygen on Everest until they're well over 22,000 feet.
Beautiful photos of the mandalas. I'm in awe of both the monks' artistry and your amazing ceiling art. Thankyou for sharing.
I was watching an interview with someone who was reflecting on a horrible time she'd had in her past. She said she'd repeat "This too shall pass" to herself to remind herself eventually things would change. But whilst she was suffering through the event, it felt like it would last forever.
I was struggling with the beast, who I call the 'black dog' at the time of watching. I was also in a horrible situation and her words really resonated.
They became my mantra.
Recently it was my birthday. I was reflecting on all the things I'd have missed out on had I stayed convinced that depression would never end - unless I ended it, if you know what I mean.
Everything did pass, and I did get better.
The mandalas are such a beautiful reminder of how things can change very quickly. And how even though they are destroyed, it leaves space for another beautiful piece of art.
Thank you, Maria. I'm glad you never ended it. I won't either.
The funny / frustrating thing is, one of my mantras whenever I'm dealing with The Black Dog is also "This too shall pass." My cortex understands this fully, but my limbic system and the rest of my body never believe it during a bad episode.
Anyway, thank you again for understanding, and for your support. And hang in there!!!
Wow! Larry, I think this is one of my favorite pieces of yours, which is saying a whole lot. I've always loved the artistry of mandalas and especially the meaning behind them. Your explanation of their impermanence and tying all of it into your own lifelong struggles was both masterful and beautifully done. Of course, you managed to throw in some of that Larry humor (Really, Larry...a leafblower?) along the way so we'd all know it was still you. More than anything, I'm so thankful, grateful really, that you have had the strength and growth to gain such insight. My brother is not only still here, but passing on his wisdom.
Larry... whew... your writing just keeps evolving and getting better and better. I love how you tied these pieces together- allowing each to breathe and yet connect-- the string art, the monks-- I laughed at your joke and was happy to hear the monk did too! - and your depression episodes. beautiful!!
Thank you, Linda. I initially hesitated to compare my string design with something with such extraordinary detail and spiritual meaning as a mandala, but I was reminded of the Himalayan experience when I had to take the design down.
The impermanence of life does make me sad though. Why should we chase? What can we truly grab as ours? What can I truly call mine when even the notion of who I am keeps changing? What's the purpose of existing and living and relationships and aimbitions and desires when they all fade away? We can never be truly joyous on happy occasions because we know it will come to pass. The same with difficult times.
Then what do we do with our life, our attention and our energies?
Good question, Harshan. I like your deep thinking on this.
I mean, what's the point of savoring anything if it's *all* going to go away, maybe tomorrow, maybe in 50 years?
Perhaps one answer is about staying in the moment and savoring the good, even though that "good" (whatever it is) is temporary, without clutching on to it. As for the "bad"? Then of course impermanence is wonderful.
I really loved this piece. It hit home because I used to make what we called a “God’s Eye” out of colorful wool threads, and even as a kid I was fascinated by the idea that something can be beautiful, temporary, and still completely worth making. That’s such a powerful reminder, especially in the darker moments, that nothing, good or bad, lasts forever.
One of the coolest things about being in Write Hearted with you all is getting to see posts like this in early stage development and then how they end up getting published. A great example here of how some additional time and space helped you find a beautiful way to tie all the pieces together with the string art, monks and the benefits of time. Well done! 👊🏻
To me, the best thing about Write Hearted, along with the support and camaraderie, is the feedback that we receive in Draft form. That’s HUGELY helpful, since “5 brains are better than 1.”
…that temporary monk ish is sooooo nasty (as was yr cieling hang)…i forgot who or what or where i heard the quote recently (might have been the opera Elektra??) but the idea that all of life’s things matter and that there is no real elation without pain, loss, suffering…life’s disposable mosaic tapestry sandcastle…even memories deserve the wind…reminds me of the best first post beatles beatle record…george harrison…all things must pass…
Hey Skip. Sadly, I recently found out that the new property manager won't allow a giant string design on the ceiling. (All of the others thus far have been done on "cottage cheese" ceilings, so you NEVER see any holes when I take the design down. The new ceiling, however, is completely flat, so they understandably had an issue with *300* visible pinholes in their ceiling. I understand completely. No worries.)
Anyway, I'm going to a really detailed design on a 4-by-4 foam board and hang that on one of the walls. It won't be as big, but that's the best I can do under the circumstances. Gotta take what life give you, right?
True Larry. And I still look forward to seeing your creation. I understand the issue. Really, nothing that a thick coat of ceiling paint wouldn't take care of... and they are erring on the side of caution.
The Nazis – er the property managers – actually *did* give me the go-ahead, provided I added $400 to my refundable deposit and my ceiling design wasn't within 18 inches of the overhead sprinkler ... which sits pretty much in the middle of the ceiling. I'll try to remember to share the image of the wall design if/when it's ready. (Note to self: Do the design *right in* the wall, not on foam board, to spite them...)
Feels such a Larry moment talking about leaf blowers and then the monk replied! Wishing you never have another depression episode like what you described again
Chao, I nearly fell over when that monk replied in English *and* he knew what a leaf blower was!
I'm not sure if I'll ever have such a low depression like the one noted here, but if I do I hope to remember that it won't last forever. Thank you for your good wishes.
That was a lovely work of ceiling art, Larry. I hope you post a photo of your new one when it's completed. I know too well the beast of which you speak as it has ridden my back for many years. It is indeed difficult to bear in mind that it is impermanent. My experience has taught me to attempt to keep that in the forefront of my brain, and do my best to not listen to the lies it whispers in my ears.
I'm sorry to hear that you can identify with this essay so intimately. As you note, it's important to keep the idea that nothing lasts forever front and center in our minds.
And thank you for your kind words about the ceiling art. It's a bit different, but I really enjoy making them.
Oh, Larry. I’m so glad you gave this beautiful piece the space it deserved.
I love the way you turn the idea on its head. Not only is beauty transient, but so is pain. The older I get, the more I find myself drawn to the wisdom in that, and in Buddhism in general. Life is so fleeting, and it is so easy to miss it if we aren’t present to the moment-by-moment experience of it.
This is such a moving piece, and I really admire both the wisdom and vulnerability it took to share it. Major kudos.
Thank you, Rachel. This essay has "the space it deserved" thanks to YOU. Much appreciated!!
"When it comes to major depression, for example, impermanence is a wonderful thing; it may even be life-saving."
Love this, Larry, along with the whole piece. It is a very helpful framing, as we often over-index the lamentation about times/things/memories lost.
So very helpful Larry. Ironically, your willingness to write down this story and share it is now a permanent source of help that is going to be exactly what some people need to hear in just the right moment.
I appreciate that, Rick. Funny you should mention writing as a source of helping others. Just today I sent my doctor an earlier essay I wrote about depression, and she'll likely pass it on to other patients and maybe professional colleagues.
what a great idea you followed through on!
Beautiful, beautiful post. Helpful reminder about impermanence.
I can hardly believe some of your outdoor adventures. That hike must’ve been epic.
Thank you. Yes, the Himalayas are amazing. The highest peaks in Colorado and California are only *half* as high as those magnificent monsters in Tibet and Nepal. For years, I read books about expeditions to that region, so one day I went there ... and again ... and again. Yet, at the end of the day, even those peaks are impermanent.
Impermanent but oh so brilliant.
At 10k, breathing is harder.
How did you do 19k? With oxygen?
No, if you ascend correctly (there's a ton of stuff to know), oxygen isn't needed. Climbers (we were only trekkers) don't really start on oxygen on Everest until they're well over 22,000 feet.
Beautiful photos of the mandalas. I'm in awe of both the monks' artistry and your amazing ceiling art. Thankyou for sharing.
I was watching an interview with someone who was reflecting on a horrible time she'd had in her past. She said she'd repeat "This too shall pass" to herself to remind herself eventually things would change. But whilst she was suffering through the event, it felt like it would last forever.
I was struggling with the beast, who I call the 'black dog' at the time of watching. I was also in a horrible situation and her words really resonated.
They became my mantra.
Recently it was my birthday. I was reflecting on all the things I'd have missed out on had I stayed convinced that depression would never end - unless I ended it, if you know what I mean.
Everything did pass, and I did get better.
The mandalas are such a beautiful reminder of how things can change very quickly. And how even though they are destroyed, it leaves space for another beautiful piece of art.
I hope you're doing well.
Thank you, Maria. I'm glad you never ended it. I won't either.
The funny / frustrating thing is, one of my mantras whenever I'm dealing with The Black Dog is also "This too shall pass." My cortex understands this fully, but my limbic system and the rest of my body never believe it during a bad episode.
Anyway, thank you again for understanding, and for your support. And hang in there!!!
What a lovely, heartfelt response.
This is so beautiful Larry. And the exact message I needed to hear today! Thank you for the medicine.
You're most welcome. And keep writing!!
Wonderful piece; can't wait to see your next, new creation at your new apartment.
Thanks, Craig. My next "mandala" will actually be on a 4 x 4 foam board, mounted on the wall. It'll be a fun endeavor.
Wow! Larry, I think this is one of my favorite pieces of yours, which is saying a whole lot. I've always loved the artistry of mandalas and especially the meaning behind them. Your explanation of their impermanence and tying all of it into your own lifelong struggles was both masterful and beautifully done. Of course, you managed to throw in some of that Larry humor (Really, Larry...a leafblower?) along the way so we'd all know it was still you. More than anything, I'm so thankful, grateful really, that you have had the strength and growth to gain such insight. My brother is not only still here, but passing on his wisdom.
Thanks, Flori.
Yup, I’m still kickin. :>)
When The Beast makes an appearance, it’s always going to be “forever” … then it’s not. Funny how that works.
About the leaf blower at 12,000 feet: We were all shocked that this guy could speak perfect English. I’m still blown away (pun intended!).
Larry... whew... your writing just keeps evolving and getting better and better. I love how you tied these pieces together- allowing each to breathe and yet connect-- the string art, the monks-- I laughed at your joke and was happy to hear the monk did too! - and your depression episodes. beautiful!!
Thank you, Linda. I initially hesitated to compare my string design with something with such extraordinary detail and spiritual meaning as a mandala, but I was reminded of the Himalayan experience when I had to take the design down.
The impermanence of life does make me sad though. Why should we chase? What can we truly grab as ours? What can I truly call mine when even the notion of who I am keeps changing? What's the purpose of existing and living and relationships and aimbitions and desires when they all fade away? We can never be truly joyous on happy occasions because we know it will come to pass. The same with difficult times.
Then what do we do with our life, our attention and our energies?
Good question, Harshan. I like your deep thinking on this.
I mean, what's the point of savoring anything if it's *all* going to go away, maybe tomorrow, maybe in 50 years?
Perhaps one answer is about staying in the moment and savoring the good, even though that "good" (whatever it is) is temporary, without clutching on to it. As for the "bad"? Then of course impermanence is wonderful.
Thank you for your very thoughtful feedback.
Thank you, Larry, for the post. It was the spark for the questions.
Aloha Larry!
I really loved this piece. It hit home because I used to make what we called a “God’s Eye” out of colorful wool threads, and even as a kid I was fascinated by the idea that something can be beautiful, temporary, and still completely worth making. That’s such a powerful reminder, especially in the darker moments, that nothing, good or bad, lasts forever.
Thanks, Matthew.
Yes, folks in Western society (myself included) are kind of addicted to permanence, as if everything is set in stone.
God any old pics of your God's Eye work, by chance?
I wish I did. I yearn for my yarn pics from days gone by…
One of the coolest things about being in Write Hearted with you all is getting to see posts like this in early stage development and then how they end up getting published. A great example here of how some additional time and space helped you find a beautiful way to tie all the pieces together with the string art, monks and the benefits of time. Well done! 👊🏻
Thanks, Matt.
To me, the best thing about Write Hearted, along with the support and camaraderie, is the feedback that we receive in Draft form. That’s HUGELY helpful, since “5 brains are better than 1.”
…that temporary monk ish is sooooo nasty (as was yr cieling hang)…i forgot who or what or where i heard the quote recently (might have been the opera Elektra??) but the idea that all of life’s things matter and that there is no real elation without pain, loss, suffering…life’s disposable mosaic tapestry sandcastle…even memories deserve the wind…reminds me of the best first post beatles beatle record…george harrison…all things must pass…
I guess life is a Grand Cosmic Balance Sheet; "light" literally cannot exist without "dark." Who the hell knows?
"All things must pass..." George Harrison was a genius ... and even *he* didn't last forever!
love that record
Love the way you wrote about your experience with the Monks. Felt like I was right there with you. Can't wait to see a picture of your new one too.
Hey Skip. Sadly, I recently found out that the new property manager won't allow a giant string design on the ceiling. (All of the others thus far have been done on "cottage cheese" ceilings, so you NEVER see any holes when I take the design down. The new ceiling, however, is completely flat, so they understandably had an issue with *300* visible pinholes in their ceiling. I understand completely. No worries.)
Anyway, I'm going to a really detailed design on a 4-by-4 foam board and hang that on one of the walls. It won't be as big, but that's the best I can do under the circumstances. Gotta take what life give you, right?
True Larry. And I still look forward to seeing your creation. I understand the issue. Really, nothing that a thick coat of ceiling paint wouldn't take care of... and they are erring on the side of caution.
The Nazis – er the property managers – actually *did* give me the go-ahead, provided I added $400 to my refundable deposit and my ceiling design wasn't within 18 inches of the overhead sprinkler ... which sits pretty much in the middle of the ceiling. I'll try to remember to share the image of the wall design if/when it's ready. (Note to self: Do the design *right in* the wall, not on foam board, to spite them...)
Feels such a Larry moment talking about leaf blowers and then the monk replied! Wishing you never have another depression episode like what you described again
Chao, I nearly fell over when that monk replied in English *and* he knew what a leaf blower was!
I'm not sure if I'll ever have such a low depression like the one noted here, but if I do I hope to remember that it won't last forever. Thank you for your good wishes.
That was a lovely work of ceiling art, Larry. I hope you post a photo of your new one when it's completed. I know too well the beast of which you speak as it has ridden my back for many years. It is indeed difficult to bear in mind that it is impermanent. My experience has taught me to attempt to keep that in the forefront of my brain, and do my best to not listen to the lies it whispers in my ears.
I enjoyed this piece. Good work!
I'm sorry to hear that you can identify with this essay so intimately. As you note, it's important to keep the idea that nothing lasts forever front and center in our minds.
And thank you for your kind words about the ceiling art. It's a bit different, but I really enjoy making them.