33 Comments
User's avatar
CansaFis Foote's avatar

…hilarious man, maybe your funniest piece, now it is time for you to spend a year undercover in florida documenting the sex, drugs and golf induced psychedlia of those giant drunk sexxed out beach communities…

Larry Urish's avatar

Undercover? You’re on!

Put on one of your wigs, and you can join me as your wife. (When you sleep, do you, by chance, steal the sheets?? It matters, dammit.)

CansaFis Foote's avatar

…i snore…on purpose…

Christopher Harding's avatar

I didn't want to be in the pool with you... but your storytelling sucked me in. I could even smell the chlorine and hear the echoy splashing sounds and coverstaion bouncing off the walls around the pool. Nicely done... but I need to wash the cholorine off now. Tchau!

Larry Urish's avatar

Thanks, Chris. The folks in and around the pool were really nice, and the workout was actually more challenging than expected!

Norman T. Leonard's avatar

The better part of a decade spent in therapy, a decade of meditation, and multiple decades of journaling can be distilled to this: "I didn’t need any Grand, World-Changing Purpose. Maybe all the Life Affirming Meaning I needed came from that very moment, in that sunny pool session." Yeah. Preach, Larry. Preach, brother.

Larry Urish's avatar

Amen sista! Er ... brutha! (sorry...)

Do you still meditate? Just curious.

I've heard it's all about noticing what's going on and accepting what is in that given moment, not "improving," per se. As such, the learning curve is mostly flat.

Norman T. Leonard's avatar

I still meditate but never as much as I should. When I was doing it full tilt, I noticed that it slowed everything down, particularly when I was in a tough situation. Instead of reacting immediately in anger or insecurity, it felt like it split the moment in half and gave me a little gap of time to see things more clearly and choose a better response. I'm definitely a better version of myself when I'm doing it. Highly recommend. 5/5 stars.

Larry Urish's avatar

Funny you should mention "a little gap," Norm.

One of the best books I've read about meditation (in lieu of, naturally, meditating) is called "Getting in the Gap."

BTW, I like to blend gentle breathwork with meditation; they seem to go hand in hand.

Rick Lewis's avatar

This “Don’t look straight at it,” a concerned father might warn his kids. “It might take that as a sign of aggression.” and the photo made me laugh out loud.

Larry Urish's avatar

On the cutting room floor, as it pertains to this topic: "If they want to treat me like a primate, fine. ... I occasionally fling my poop at them. (The don't like. No siree, not one bit...)"

James Bailey's avatar

"That’s when it dawned on me: I didn’t need any Grand, World-Changing Purpose. Maybe all the Life Affirming Meaning I needed came from that very moment, in that sunny pool session."

You just haaaaddd to put this pearly wisdom in the middle of a hilarious read, Larry. Touché!

So much of life is showing up. And Staying... that's it.

Larry Urish's avatar

Thanks a million, James.

Truth be told, some fine human beings in Write Hearted noted that the first draft needed some perspective (and I tend to be, shall we say, "perspective anemic"). As it turns out, I just finished a local community class that dealt with living in the retirement years with ... wait for it ... purpose and meaning.

Dumb luck or synchronicity? I reckon that's a question for the Cosmos.

Anyway, thanks again, mi amigo.

Dana Allen's avatar

Fabulous work, Larry! So it's time for a swim !!!

Larry Urish's avatar

Thanks, Dana. I'm glad you found this to be immersive. :)

Flori Posen's avatar

You had me laughing out loud just by seeing you in that fabulous swim cap. You look good in pink, by the way. There was no need for you to fill everyone in on our family’s excessive need for waxing. Thanks for that. I’m overjoyed that this senior swim class gave you your moment of enlightenment and understanding of absolute presence. Thank you for giving me a much needed hilarious mini vacation. :)

Larry Urish's avatar

Thanks, Flori.

By the way, I do not consider you to be part of Team Hirsute; those are just the dudes in our wild clan. : >)

Elisa's avatar

I love how you elegantly switched tone from slightly cynical, weary, and hilarious (your “It might take that as a sign of aggression” is priceless) to an utterly sweet, touching ending.

You grasped the weighty “Meaning of Life” in this shiny little gem.

Oh, and you look adorable in your flowery bathing cape.

A heartfelt thank you from a faraway Scandinavian land.

Larry Urish's avatar

Thanks a million, Elisa.

Welcome to the Substack community!

I really appreciate your support and very thoughtful feedback.

Elisa's avatar

Thanks, Larry, it truly is a precious community. So happy I landed in your corner.

I can’t see how you’re not going to sail triumphantly into retirement with that brilliant sense of humour, sprinkled with a bittersweet flavour. What a gift.

Larry Urish's avatar

Wow. To which I add ... WOW.

Thank you!

Chao Lam's avatar

Sounds like my kind of swim club!

Larry Urish's avatar

Thanks, Chao. I think you'd like it.

The workout was actually harder than expected!

Rachel Parker's avatar

Larry, I really enjoyed this story, and your characteristic blend of profundity and humor. You have such a gift for making me laugh and then, a few lines later, making me pause and think more deeply.

I tend to agree with you that the meaning of life really is found in the moments, and maybe even more specifically, in actually being present for those moments. So simple, and so much easier said than done (at least for me).

Also, in case it helps, from what I understand of the research, almost everyone actually gets happier with age ◡̈

Larry Urish's avatar

Much appreciated, Rachel.

I just finished a local community class called "Finding Meaning in Your Retirement." It was fantastic, but it focused on the whole Big Grand Purpose mindset (which is fine and really helpful).

Around the same time, I stumbled across a book called "The Purpose Code," which makes the point that meaning etc. can be found moment to moment. The author actually talks about the "purpose anxiety" that can result when folks try to hard to find grander forms of purpose and meaning. If you're curious, and actually have the time (ha!!), google "Jordan Grumet Psychology Today purpose." You needn't wade through the 200-page book; it's all here.

As far as getting happier with more birthdays: At my age, I should be giddy 24/7!!!

Anyway, thanks again.

Rachel Parker's avatar

Thank you for these resources, Larry! I will definitely check out the article. The idea of “purpose anxiety” is so interesting, how the search for meaning can become counterproductive when it turns into another thing we feel we have to achieve.

And to clarify my happiness-with-age comment, from what I understand, happiness often dips in midlife and then tends to rise again. So by that measure, you may not be at “giddy 24/7” quite yet, but you have lots of ascent ahead of you ◡̈

Larry Urish's avatar

That timeline could be true! My own midlife might've started around age 7 (seriously ... and cue the weeping violins), so my ascent could be kind of steep/fun. Gotta ride it, one moment at a time. (Note to self: fasten your seat belts.)

Matthew Gray's avatar

* You make aging terrifying, ridiculous, and deeply human—all in the time it takes to flail through a Beyoncé set in a chlorinated pool. You can do this. Time for a nap.

Larry Urish's avatar

Thanks, Matthew.

It was all "funner" than expected.

Come to think of it, "Flailing Through A Beyoncé Set" would've made for a decent essay title, right?

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Funny and sweet. Seniors tend to have leakage. Glad the pool was chlorinated.

Larry Urish's avatar

Well, come to think of it, there were several “warm pockets” during the workout, and the pool kind of began to smell like asparagus …