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James Bailey's avatar

Larry, I’m with Chris, Rick and the others - what an essay - my favorite one of yours yet. As Chris said, deftly written. The tension I felt rising while reading it was notable, and then you’d defuse it with something funny, and then it would start rising again.

Often when I read an essay I highlight something I expect to put in the comments, and that lone cranberry was it at first, then I move on to something else, and then you brought it back around to you being the lone cranberry - which was genius and vulnerable.

Family units and dynamics are f*cked up - every one of them being unique, and so often it is the subconscious selves, influenced by elders, being passed down and across in dysfunctional ways that are deeply hurtful and impactful.

And that you’ve found writing and are willing to be vulnerable - is a beautiful path to draw things out and work on them so they’re not at work on you any longer. I commend your courage and wherewithal to take on the task.

Last, I don’t know why I thought this when I finished reading your piece, nor do I know why I’m sharing it now - maybe because we’ve scratched the surface of the topic together, but maybe your role in your family, and you role to yourself now, is to forgive (yes forgive) them for what they weren’t able to give you at the time and to love them no matter what. When you turf these things up and process them through writing, it could be that at the end you say, “and I forgive you.”

I’m just throwing that out there and feel like I’m out over my skis now, offering perspective or advice. It’s just that your story surfaced a whole bunch of emotions for me.

I’m grateful for you this Thanksgiving too!

Larry Urish's avatar

A belated thank you, James. Much appreciated!

I honestly don't know how many of *these* essays I have in me, or are at least willing to share them. Most of what seems to percolate up is silly / fun stuff, usually involving some sort of prank. Look for more of those in the near future.

As for forgiveness, I've been fully aware of the healing power of forgiveness for many years, but in terms of *applying* that, I've had zero forward motion in that department. (I must first forgive myself, which is likely the most difficult thing of all.) Anyway, this whole subject may be an offline discussion at some point. If you have any tips, I'm all ears!

Thanks again, my friend.

James Bailey's avatar

Larry, happy Thanksgiving. May there be a cornucopia of cranberries on your plate.

I look forward to our off line discussions, AND more essays - no matter what they are about. More of your perspectives need to be frolicking around in the world and in people’s hearts!

I’m glad the universe has connected us.

Larry Urish's avatar

I shall have a HUGE helping of cranberry sauce, filled with dozens of the berries, this Thanksgiving. And it'll be in a colorful, joyous setting with friends and family. I hope your Turkey Day is the same.

Yes, indeed, I'm glad our paths have crossed.

Linda Kaun's avatar

James, Thank you for your deep thoughtful reply to Larry's story... I agree with everything you say here and can also apply it to my own life...

James Bailey's avatar

Thank you Linda 🙏❤️.

Kathy Ayers's avatar

Love your comment, James. Forgiveness of others seems to be one of the most freeing gifts we can ever give ourselves.

James Bailey's avatar

Amen Kathy. ❤️🙏

Christopher Harding's avatar

Damn, Larry... powerful, deftly written -- one of the best I've read of yours yet (and I've read a lot of your work and enjoyed it all).

Such a shame that your given family never gave you the chance -- or themselves the chance, to learn just what a talented, creative, brilliant human being you are.

Life's smiled on me though -- somehow I get to experience you and your great qualities multiple times a week. I'm truly blessed -- and your friendship is definitely one of the things that will be on my gratitude list for Thanskgiving this year.

Larry Urish's avatar

Thank you so much, my friend. You've always been so encouraging and supportive.

And rest assured: As far as being blessed, the feeling is mutual.

Linda Kaun's avatar

Whew Larry!! These stories of yours just keep getting better and better-- as others have commented. both in the actual writing technique wise- the tension and release throughout, but also in continuing to dive deeper into your own life stories. Beautiful. I learn so much not just about you but about myself with each addition to your story bank. Thank You! And Happy Thanksgiving... I hope and trust there'll be more than one lone cranberry on your plate this year.

My own dysfunctional family's nickname for my sister was "the brat"-- while I was cast as the good girl-- a role many don't realize has its own set up burdens to carry. I'm still unpacking them.

Larry Urish's avatar

Thank you, Linda.

I happen to believe that the term "dysfunctional family" is redundant, since *every* family is messed up in some way.

I imagine being "The Brat" while being labeled the good girl must've been really confusing. Glad you continue to work through that.

Kathy Ayers's avatar

“Good girl.” I can relate. I’m guessing many women can.

It creates a lane from which it’s hard to deviate even if it’s vital to do so. It disempowers. Thanks for mentioning this, Linda.

Genie Joseph's avatar

That lone cranberry! Powerful image! Want to drive to Tucson and have neighborly Turkey with me and the donkeys?

Larry Urish's avatar

Thanks, Genie.

I'll be in Scottsdale for the Turkey Feast. But I appreciate your kind offer!!

Genie Joseph's avatar

Okay, sounds good. I am really sick anyway.

Larry Urish's avatar

Oh, bummer. Get well soon!!

Rob B's avatar

Really liked your story. I am the identified patient in my family. Maybe we are lucky to be in this classification. The lows are lower but the highs are higher. Thanks for sharing. Happy T Day. R

Larry Urish's avatar

Hey Rob. I don't know if being the identified patient is a good thing; perhaps it's an opportunity to work on growing in this current go-round on this Earthly Plane. Who knows?

Thank you for your support.

And GO RAMS!!

Rick Lewis's avatar

A beautiful piece Larry. I can't unsee that stranded cranberry, but I can see that you are no longer alone on the tray. You are creating your own community of chosen family, both with the thoughts that you keep and the company you keep. You are indeed a writer and a storyteller, par excellence my friend.

Larry Urish's avatar

Thanks a million, Rick.

It's coming up on a year ago that I first told you that, "I have no stories to tell." Thank you for allowing me the space to prove myself wrong. Without your help, I wouldn't be writing, other than the occasional paid gig (and those aren't from the heart). Much appreciated!!

Flori Posen's avatar

Now, that was a gut punch! My heart’s still reeling from your story. As someone who’s been through it with you and also feels/has felt like the scapegoat of the family, I can tell you that you most certainly have changed. While you’ve been a writer for many years, you’ve now become a truly spectacular, rich storyteller. You’ve also deepened as a human being, though that clown often pops up with a wicked sense of humor. ;)

Larry Urish's avatar

Thanks a million, Flori.

Yeah, I guess we're indeed both survivors of, shall we say, a "challenging" environment.

Rest assured: Not every one of my future essays is going to be a "gut punch," as I have several fun/silly prank-related stories to add to the mix.

I appreciate your support!!

Dana Allen's avatar

You are a storyteller, you are a writer. And this story is magnificent and heartwarming and heart wrenching. It has fed my soul with hope and joy. I am smiling and am happy I know you.

Larry Urish's avatar

Thank you Dana!

One of the best things about Write Hearted is all the kind-hearted friends I've met this past year, and you're a prime example. I appreciate you!

Dana Allen's avatar

☺️

Simon Emslie's avatar

Larry, you’re both a fabulous writer and a fabulous storyteller. I feel so lucky to have got to know you this year. Sometimes it’s hard to see change in ourselves, but my word I think it’s evident to anyone who reads your writing and has conversations with you in the comments of your, their own and others’ posts - my word have you grown this year.

Larry Urish's avatar

Thank you Simon. Much appreciated!

Yeah, I honestly don't see any significant shift from within, but I must start listening to others who are certain that this change is happening and evident. For now, I'll keep see-sawing between the fun/goofy essays and the more serious pieces ... and see where that leads me.

BTW, I hope "6-word stories" becomes a regular element of Write Hearted! Glad you introduced that to us.

Craig Reem's avatar

Beautiful piece, timely piece, from a friend who has never, ever been a loser.

Matthew Gray's avatar

* I once met a cranberry sitting at the bottom of a Swanson tray, quietly waiting for someone to name it. It reminded me of the loneliness of small fruit and the miracle of old televisions muting themselves just to listen to the poetry of forks and memories.

Larry Urish's avatar

Thank you, Matthew.

Your thought here, in itself, feels like a form of poetry.

(And notice how I did NOT mention cherry bagels...)

Chao Lam's avatar

Wow, Larry - I'd heard from you the lonely Swanson TV dinner earlier. But this piece strikes so much deeper - it really is so honestly human in every way I've come to admire you over the months!

Larry Urish's avatar

A belated thank you, Chao. I appreciate your support. (I was out of town for a few days, to attend a fun, high-energy, colorful Thanksgiving with friends and loved ones.)

By the way, did you ever get a look at my essay "Interrogated by a Bot"? Given your expertise with AI (and so much more), you may find it to be either hilarious or infuriating.

https://thepositivepessimist.substack.com/p/interrogated-by-a-bot

Rachel Parker's avatar

Larry, this is such a thoughtful and deeply felt piece. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to make the decision to separate from your family, especially when the pain comes not from dramatic events but from the slow accumulation of words and roles that take years to recognize for what they are.

You have certainly earned your new nicknames, and I would add philosopher to that list. There is something profoundly reflective in the way you trace the arc from that isolated Thanksgiving to the writer and storyteller you are now. Thank you for sharing this. It will stick with me this holiday ◡̈

Larry Urish's avatar

Thank you, Rachel.

I guess the next obvious step involves forgiving others ... AND myself. (Been trying that for a long time; gotta be patient.)

As for nicknames: Irreverent Prankster? Yup. Writer / Storyteller? Okey-doke.

Philosopher? Uh ... I'll take it!

Thank you. :)

You and yours have a super Thanksgiving and a wonderful rest of your Holiday season.

CansaFis Foote's avatar

…didja watch fhe beegees doc from a handful of years ago?…

Larry Urish's avatar

No I missed that.

CansaFis Foote's avatar

highest rec

Larry Urish's avatar

Thanks. I’ll look it up

Larry Urish's avatar

Just saw the trailer. Okay, I'm hooked. Thanks again for the recommendation.

Matthew Gray's avatar

* This beautifully honest reckoning with family, identity, and the long shadow of old wounds lands with both ache and hope.

Larry Urish's avatar

Thanks, Matthew.

What a succinct overview. You indeed have a way with words. :)

Kathy Ayers's avatar

Exquisite. You are a master storyteller.

Happy Thanksgiving, Larry.

Larry Urish's avatar

Thank you, Kathy.

This essay, obviously far more serious than my normal fare, may be a "one-off." I'm still not sure who much I want to dive deep into old wounds moving forward; maybe I'll toss in some fun / silly essays in between. (I'll probably be the last to know.)